Numbers

I don't mean to be as asinine as I look when I point out that, just one week after the White House angrily clarified Bush's typically unclear statement by publicly chastising NBC, Bill Clinton, formerly smooth as silk and just as sexy, has reiterated and restated his family's complaints about the media.

"She is winning the general election today and he is not, according to all the evidence," he points out, aimlessly referencing ambiguous polls. "If you notice, there hasn't been a lot of publicity on these polls I just told you about. Is it the first time you've heard it? Why do you think that is? Why do you think? Don't you think if the polls were the reverse and he was winning the electoral college against Sen. McCain and Hillary was losing it, that would be blasted on every television station? You would know, wouldn't you? It wouldn't be a little secret. And there is another Electoral College poll that I saw yesterday that had her over 300 electoral votes."

I'm going to type this in capital letters, but I want to make it clear that I'm not just hitting the CAPS lock. I'm holding my left pinkie on the left shift key, so as to better restrain the full-body muscle spasm which erupts as I type the following:

BILL, THE REASON WHY THE PRESS HASN'T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO THE STATISTICS THAT YOU'RE VAGUELY REFERENCING IS THAT THEY'RE PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO THE ACTUAL VOTES MADE BY ACTUAL PEOPLE IN ACTUAL PRIMARIES, NOT THEORETICAL ELECTIONS, AND IF YOU WERE PAYING ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO SAID ACTUAL FUCKING NUMBERS (WHICH DERIVE FROM ACTUAL VOTES, UNLIKE THE NUMBERS IN THE POLL YOU MENTION, WHICH DERIVE FROM FAIRY DUST), YOU WOULD NOTICE THAT YOUR WIFE IS CURRENTLY LOSING.

Matt Taibbi says it best, as usual. You know what's funny? Nearly every article that I've read about Hillary's current campaign plan - codenamed "Lose Until We Win" - references the fact that, if she holds on for just a little longer, Barack Obama may just suffer another controversy that could put her over the edge. What cynical politics.