My New Desktop Wallpaper Has Fixed What Two Doctors and a Doctoral Candidate Could Not

I suffer from tremendous anxiety about nearly everything. I used to just worry about my interaction with other people, but in the last year or so, I've started to worry about existence and to what extent reality is real. There was one month when I couldn't look at the sky, because I would get vertigo and imagine that gravity was giving out (I spent alot of time indoors, and considered padding the ceilings).

Doctors have several solutions for anxiety, none of them particularly inviting. Meditation, Medication, more sleep, a better diet, less partying, less TV. "Normalize," they always say, like being a twenty-three year old unemployed unsuccessful writer is something I can just switch off. Part of the problem is that I'm supposed to feel anxiety. Good writing doesn't come from relaxation. You don't get good memories from 8 hours of sleep or fruits and vegetables.

I thought I was completely SOL, and was just settling down for a long and unhappy life of Woody Allenesque agoraphobia combined with a deepening Hemingwayesque sense of despaire (and if there is one thing you don't want to esque, it's Hemingway), when, on whim, I google-imaged "Third Man Wallpaper" and came up with this:

And now, whenever I stare at my computer, I always move my documents and web pages and photoshop toolbars toward the right, so whenever I feel like my brain is about to explode, I can look at Orson Welles with his frightened, brilliant, murderous eyes.